I am king of sleeping the whole night through. I'm the kind of person who instantly goes to sleep once I lay my head on the pillow. I can block everything out and go straight into ZZZZZZZ-mode and dream the entire night away. I've been this way my whole life and have never had to worry about tossing and turning in bed no matter what was going on in my life. I sometimes refer to it as my "movie time". One of the downsides of having this "gift" is that I get extremely irritated and mad when I'm woken up for no reasonable reason. When I go to bed I mean I'm going to bed and you better not wake me up. Unfortunately movie time ended when I got married and started sharing my bed.

My wife has weak bladder and she'll readily admit to it. When ever we go some place she has to stop everything and hit the can. When she has to go she has to go and nothing is stopping her. I've seen her numerous times reaching down to what looks like an act of pinching her penis (she doesn't have one) and telling me she needs a bathroom PRONTO.  This happens all the time and going to bed is no different. On average she goes 2-3 times per night. Some times it will even start few minutes after she has laid her head down. What this all means, I get woken up each night when she takes her bathroom break. Uggghhhh!

As I mentioned above, I get irritated/mad when I'm woken up and my wife has heard my snarls and growls on numerous occasions. After almost 2 years of marriage I'm just now starting to learn to tune her out and actually sleeping through these interruptions. But wait, she has come up with another annoying bedtime phase, tossing and turning the night away with moans of discomfort. She complains that she is having "pregnant growing pains" and she just can't get comfortable in our current bed. From my point of view there is actually nothing wrong with our bed it's the user (her) who has the problem. All I want to do is sleep the night away and wake up the next morning bright and cheery.

Now the nagging has begun: "we need a new bed", "our bed is to small", "Martha Stewart recommended", and my latest favorite "my doctor says...." So far I've been able to fend off getting a new bed since I don't fully believe it's the bed. You may be thinking I'm a jerk, but you're wrong, I just didn't get a good night sleep last night and I'm cranky and not my usual bright and cheery self. Now don't think I'm not capable of compromise. My wife came up with a great possible solution. Perhaps, she suggests, we should try putting a piece of plywood underneath the bed between the mattress and the box spring. I can live with that.

With my wife's help we lugged up a piece of plywood and placed it ever-so-gently into place. I say gently because my wife swears that I love my/our bed more than her (think uncomfortable pause when I didn't respond in a timely manner). Unfortunately, the plywood is longer than the bed and it sticks out by at least 2 feet. Of course I don't want to haul it back outside to cut so I suggest that maybe we should try it out for the next few days, as is, and see if it solves the problem.

Hopefully this solves my sleeping problem but I figure there are more than few people out there thinking that I won't truly know sleep deprivation until we bring a newborn in to the home. I expect that you're right but until that day comes I want my uninterrupted beauty sleep.