I am but a crafted caricature of who I was when I met my husband. I used to be a hip cat. I used to wear heels. Recently I've spent more money at the neighborhood knitting store than I have at Nordstrom.

So, I waddled my cranky but crafty ass across the parking lot to Jo Ann Fabrics. After about five minutes perusing the isles, my ambitious ego signed me up for sewing 101 class so I can make my own damn crib bedding set! Take that you lame ass Babies R Us designers who have resigned to the most boring and predictable fabrics for baby bedding. Now I need a sewing machine...and the patience to see a craft project through to the end. Being a realist, I've already decided that I will pick a fabric that will suit Murphy the Wonder Dog's bed, as I have a feeling that is where my first attempt at a crib blanket will be laid to rest, next to the baby blanket my mom crocheted.