I am not the type to relieve myself in public, and often make a stink (and a pun) when someone around me blows air. Its just not right, some things should be intentionally kept to yourself. That is unless you are 9 1/2 months pregnant and you have no idea if you have a queue of gas in your ass waiting to be released. I was in Hallmark this weekend looking for, well, of all things, a card, and experienced a sure fire sign that I have lost my sense of humility and composure.

I was flanked by people on either side of me, who were also looking for Halloween cards and without any warning *TOOT* comes from my caboose. I stood there unapologetic, I didn't excuse myself (i.e. acknowledge the situation), I didn't blush or become the least bit embarrassed. I wanted to shout out "if I knew it was there, I would have held it, but I have 30 lbs of weight bearing down on that region of my body and so cut me some slack, lest I cut another one, pee my pants or have my water break on your shoes."

Nine days to go until baby is due. Until then I will continue to be a bag of pregnancy tricks...trick or treat, smell my feet, run around the toilet seat!